The Lost Dragonborn
by xxxAriha
Summary: Syra hailed from Tamriel, her life solidly placed in Oblivion's world until she crossed Molag Bal. In spite, the Daedric Prince banished her to Oblivion for 200 years before dropping her in Skyrim. In this new land with no one to turn to, Syra must find her place in a world she does not belong to, all the while worried that, at any moment, Molag Bal will send her back to Oblivion.
1. Welcome to Skyrim

The others in my wagon trembled with terror. I sat, eyes downcast, listening to my breath in the brisk air. What season was it? I couldn't remember. But chill clung to air even as the sun pierced the fog that had clung to us. I lifted my head, letting the dancing rays glitter in my blue eyes. Slowly, I rose, ignoring the guard's growl, ordering me to be seated. I stood amongst my wagons companions, my torn and old shift flapping along with my curling black hair, staring at Helgen. The place where I was going to die.

* * *

"Stay here and don't do anything troublesome," the guard ordered, slamming the cell behind us.

I looked at the cuffs around my wrists before glancing upwards into the face of my brothers in chains. They were talking amongst themselves, pondering the war. I didn't understand the politics of this place. I was lucky to even understand the language. A dark chuckle filled my ears and I cringed, bracing for impact.

"This is Skyrim," said the all too familiar voice of Molag Bal.

I remained silent, waiting and he went on.

"This is my gift to you for lasting all those years trapped within Oblivion."

My hands curled into fists as I remembered Oblivion and it's monsters. It was an awful place.

"Enjoy."

I almost smiled. Enjoy? I was about to be executed for unknown reasons and he was urging me to enjoy it.

"What's your story, stranger?"

The question was directed at me by the Nord across from me. His question drew the other's attention and suddenly, I was being scrutinized. I knew what they saw. They saw a Dark Elf whose skin was too light. Whose features were too Nord.

"I was trapped in Oblivion after displeasing Molag Bal," I replied. "After an immeasurable amount of time, he granted me my freedom and here I am."

I waved my hands, indicating the cell. I heard a chuckle from behind me and glanced over my shoulder. Some of the guards were gathered behind me, laughing.

"Molag Bal?" one laughed. "HA!"

I turned back to my cell mates, a dry smile in place.

"Believe it or not," I said. "It's more interest than I'm sure a god has shown you."

One of the guards, a female, took a threatening step forward. I stood, refusing to be intimidated.

"Captain! Do not allow her to get under your skin!" a man ordered.

The woman paused.

"Yes, General," she said, backing off.

She cast a final glare over her shoulder though, as she did. I sat back down, leaning against the bars.

"Impressive," one of my fellow prisoners remarked. " You've got fire."

I studied him, taking note of his blue and golden brown robes.

"What a strange uniform," I remarked.

His lips quirked upwards.

"Stormcloak uniform," he replied.

"I will never understand this world," I decided, adding a sigh.

The men just laughed.

* * *

My confusion continued. They let us out to wander, in chains, to prevent us from running. I glanced around, eyeing the moon. I hadn't seen it in decades.

"Never did explain your story, girl."

I glanced to my left, to the armor wearing man beside me. He was one of the guards.

"And what part of my story did I not explain?" I inquired.

"You never explained what you did to displease Molag Bal," he replied.

I smiled his way, my own thoughts drifting back to my many sins, the sins committed before I had crossed Molag Bal.

"That is my secret," I declared, grinning.

"I see, Though it won't be your secret for long. Soon, the gods will share it with you."

My eyes went to the moon again and I sighed.

"I know that well."

I wandered away from him, to the stone wall that surrounded Helgen, running my hand along it. Looking for a way out. Foolish but admirable of me, I decided.

"Does no good to do that. Also, it makes the guards nervous. Makes 'em watch you harder."

The voice was deep and wolfish, sending shivers up my spine. I turned a bit, face to face with the shadows and a man hidden by them.

"And who am I speaking to?" I asked.

A wolfish grin broke through the shadows.

"Imagine the surprise. The Dark Brotherhood gets a contract not to kill but to rescue a target," he chuckled.

"The Dark Brotherhood?" I repeated.

I matched the grin.

"That's a name I haven't heard in a long time."

Almost 200 years to be exact.

"Sithis be praised," I murmured.

"Unfortunately, our leader isn't willing to let you off so easily," he went on.

"Oh really?"

So much for my rescue. The shadows chuckled.

"You want out? I left a horse just outside these walls hidden in the forest. Get out and to the horse. He'll know where to take you."

"How kind of you," I quipped.

The laughter was all I heard as the man faded away. I, meanwhile, glanced around, fully studying Helgen. Perhaps there was an escape route. I just didn't see it.

* * *

I never got to look more in depth. We prisoners were ordered inside and locked away for the night, woken up at the crack of dawn Apparently, the other prisoners had arrived. Despite my impending death, I couldn't keep the wolfish grin off my face as I was forced forward ,on limbs still shaking off sleep, in a most ungentlemanly manner. The female captain watched me, much more than she watched any other prisoner, almost as if she expected me to escape. Well, she wasn't entirely wrong. Still, I could practically see her fingers itch as she watched me walk by her.

"Hodvar!" she barked.

A man, the one from last night who'd further questioned me, hurried over. She nodded my way and I kept my back to her, listening in.

"That prisoner, her clothes are more tattered than they were the night prior. Was there trouble?" she asked.

"Not to my knowledge," Hodvar replied.

I smirked. So like a female to notice an alteration to a dress. I'd ripped the already worn fabric so that it would be easier for me to climb and run. If I was going to pull off my plans, I was going to need as much mobility as possible. My eyes went to the executioner. He was a towering man. He was also blocking on of the guard towers. That would be my escape point. From there on to the wall. Hopefully, I could swipe a sword before hand. Gone was the timid woman who been dropped into this world. Now, I was my usual escape artist self.

"Do not be foolish, woman," a voice whispered to me.

I let my eyes drift, finding a man towering above me, dressed the same as many of my fellow prisoners.

"There is no point to escaping. Face your death with your head held high."

I chuckled.

"Foolish man. You have no idea what I can do," I bragged.

Though it was true. He just had to stand back and watch. Instead, though, he shook his head at my "foolishness" and stepped away from me. Meanwhile, the executions were continuing on their way. I kept my face impassive as I walked forward, watching a man crouch at the block. I almost felt bad. But such was the way that war went. I stopped beside a man who wore no uniform. He was gagged but still he managed a nod my way which I took as a sign that he too knew my plans and he, unlike the other man, approved. I nodded back, glancing down at my bound hands. It was the only complication. There were cries of objection which I assumed meant that a head has just rolled. I wasn't wrong. I noticed, to my right, a priestess. When had she shown up? My eyes narrowed at her. There was something off about her, something not quite right. Meanwhile, she glanced my way, a secret smile in place. That's when I knew for sure. I was being watched by the Dark Brotherhood. Surprise was foolish. I should have expected that someone would be watching. I really had to meet the leader of the Brotherhood.

"The Dark Elf next!" the captain declared, snatching my gaze away from the fake priestess to the execution.

She was looking straight at me and a flash of annoyance went through me. Dark elf? She was only half right. A soldier came to my side, nudging me forward. I cast a glance at him, observing the dagger at his hip. That could be my solution to my bound hands. With a final glance over my shoulder at the fake priestess, I made my move, ducking low and slamming my shoulder into the soldier's side. He was temporarily knocked off balance and I grabbed his dagger, quickly scurrying out of his reach. I sliced through the bonds, ducking around an approaching soldier. An archer readied her bow, aiming right at me. I didn't hesitate for a second, running towards her, dagger ready.

"What is that!?" a voice cried.

A loud roar pierced the fog as the ground shook. Instinct made me look up, finding the winged figure above. My eyes widened, Oblivion flashing into my head. Familiar wings beat the air above me. When I blinked though, a wave of fire was flying straight at me. A strong arm seized my waist, lifting me off the ground and carrying me out of the way. It was the man with the gag.

"Put me down!" I commanded, struggling as he ran for one of the guard towers.

He ignored my protests and we exited the chaos of the outside. Then and only then did he put me down. I retreated a few steps, dagger pointed at him.

"Fool! Do you know who you point that dagger at?"

The voice alerted me to the presence of the other men in the room. Looking over my shoulder, I discovered about seven other prisoners and only one was female. On the brightside, none of them were armed to my knowledge. But therein laid the problem. I couldn't tell if they had weapons. And even if they didn't, they had numbers on their side. I turned back to the man at the end of my dagger. They were my fellow prisoners and they could be distractions from the soldiers outside. I stepped forward, slicing through the man's bindings.

"No, I don't know who I point this dagger at. But perhaps he can enlighten me," I said, reaching for his gag.

I didn't bother to cut it. I just yanked it off.

"Jarl Ulfric of Windhelm," he said. "And you?"

"Syra," I replied.

He nodded his acknowledgement before turning to one of his men, the one, I noted who'd advised me against escape.

"Rolaf, do the men have their weapons?" he asked.

"Yes, my Jarl," Rolaf replied.

I was glad I hadn't attacked anyone, as they brandished swords and war axes. The female remained weaponless.

"What of her?"

Apparently, Ulfric noticed her as well.

"She's an archer, my Jarl. It was just hard to get the bow here but she has arrows."

I smirked just a bit. An archer with no bow. It was so sad I just couldn't help it.

"Leave it to me," I said.

They all turned to me. I just crossed my arms.

"Look, we run out, we snatch a bow and we get out of here. Easy enough," I remarked.

"Easy? How can you say it's easy?" the female archer demanded.

"Everything is easy compared to Oblivion. Let me go first and I guarantee, you'll have your bow."

I looked at Ulfric when I said this, because I figured his word would be law. He studied me a moment before nodding. I stepped around him and then bolted from the tower, my eyes scanning for an archer. I wasn't disappointed. One stood, her back to me, firing arrows at the dragon overhead. I went directly at her, catching her shoulder and sliding the dagger across her throat. She let out a gurgled cry, dropping to the ground. With a grim smile, I bent, picking up her bow and glancing back at Ulfric and his troops. A few were staring at me in shock, as if they couldn't believe I'd done such a thing so easily. In response, I tossed the bow their way and then turned and began running. The fake priestess was gone, I noted, but I didn't have time to worry about that. Despite the chaos, I crept at a pretty slow pace, to avoid detection, taking out any soldiers on my way. I even ran into some of Ulfric's boys but they met my dagger. Bottom line, no one was spared. I made it to Helgen's gate, stabbing my dagger into the gate, using it to pry the gate open. It was a lot stronger than I thought it would be but I managed to open it enough to slip out. As I ran down the very path that had delivered me to Helgen, I heard the dragon overhead but ignored the warning. I just needed to keep running.


	2. The Girl with Murder in Her Eyes

Water Lady. That's what they were calling me. I didn't know where I was. I heard talk that it was some village or town within the bounds of some place called Whiterun. It had something to do with the river. I wish I knew but I refused to ask and was still a little hesitant to let them know that I wasn't completely witless. Still, I suspected the woman who'd fished me from the water knew I was smarter than I let on. She watched me from time to time, shushing her husband if he began talking about High Elves. I almost wanted to smile at such a familiar term. Such pretensions and pompous asses they were. Of course they would still be around. So long as High Elves existed, they would make a bad name for the other Mer species. Or so my mother claimed. Father had always just laughed at her harsh words, when he bothered to show his face at all.

"Water lady!" the child exclaimed.

I turned my head to look down at her. She was an odd one, always running about and bringing me back things. As if I really was from the water. She was shoving lavender in my face, one of many herbs the brat called a pretty flower. I took it, if only to avoid having lavender shoved up my nose and rose off the porch I sat on. She immediately began following me, like a dog follows its master. I wasn't going to reveal myself so early, thus I could not object as I trailed to the water's edge. Damn those wolves for chasing me into the current. They'd startled my horse, the one so graciously left for me by the Brotherhood, who'd thrown me into the river in its panic to escape. I still had marks from the razor sharp teeth of the slaughterfish. I see those tenacious buggers were still around too. Leaving behind my little shadow, I waded into the water, going far enough that it was up to my waist. My wounds stung, burns left where my wrist irons had chaffed and left angry red soars.

"Water lady!" the girl cried.

Angrily, I turned back to her, to snap at her so she'd shut up. Last second though, I bit my tongue. She was waving at me but also pointing to a nearby troupe of soldiers. Looks like it was time to get out of the water. With speed I didn't know I possessed, I splashed out, following the girl along the dust trail that was the town's road. We were back on her front porch seconds before the soldiers marched into town. As they trekked past us, I watched them evenly, a small smirk coming to my face, unable to stop myself from wondering why they were here.

* * *

_ "Listener."_

My body reacted with that one word. That one title. Just like that, I knew, beyond a doubt that I stopped breathing. Even in the deep recesses of my mind, I knew it was Her doing. That she, after years, after decades, had felt my return. And didn't care. As far as she was concerned, I never left. I was still hers to command and she fully intended to make use of me.

_"Yet another child has prayed to their mother," _she rasped.

I fought against her, wanting to relish in this sleep. It was still new to me, sleeping without having to be fully aware of the threats around me. Not having to worry about the pesky scamps or Molag Bal's ever random visits. I was free. He'd freed me, however temporary. Was she so intent on taking it away from me?

_"Go to Riften and await night. Kill the first thief you see. So begins a contract, bound in blood."_

Something was off. Her orders were so general. That had never happened. My eyes opened immediately and I sat up. Across the room slept the family, so trusting and naïve to the fact that their guest was the former Listener, sworn to serve the Night Mother as well as Sithis, the Dread Father. I rose, silent, creeping towards the door. The Night Mother was not one to be kept waiting.

* * *

I stole a guard's horse. Simple as that. And all that poor fool will remember is a bottle of ale and some charming company. I followed the road, rather than the river, which was hard to see during the night but I found myself in the company of a caravan of Khajiit, heading for some city they called Whiterun. Rather than travel alone, I tagged along, up until they began setting up shop outside the city walls. That's where I drew the line. I left my stolen horse at the stables and headed for the city. As I passed through the first gate, I could feel the guards' eyes on me as I progressed. I almost grinned but did my best to look innocent, as if I was just some brainless wench come to visit the city. Resistance came at the last set of gates.

"Sorry, no one can enter the city," the guard declared, stopping me.

"What?" I asked. "That's ridiculous!"

"You can enter," the other guard said. "If you want to spend the night in the jail."  
I could feel my face growing red with anger. How dare he! No, how dare they turn me away!

"By order of the Ja-"

"Hail, Companions!" the second guard said, cutting off the first.

I jumped as a pair of heavily armored Nords passed me. One was female and she paused, studying me. Her partner paused as well, his eyes only on her.

"Aela?" he prompted.

Aela, the female Nord, raised one hand, telling him to hold on. After a moment, she offered me a smile.

"I'm glad you finally came to see me," she declared.

She turned to the guards.

"I know the Jarl has prevented strangers from entering the gates but this is my late brother's wife," she declared. "She finally saved enough to come to Skyrim and I have offered her sanctuary in Whiterun until she is able to care for herself."

"Why didn't she just say so?" the second guard asked.

I had the feeling he'd be the hardest to convince, though I noticed Aela's partner eyeing me suspiciously.

"I was unaware that I'd be turned away with such harshness," I lied. "I was not so sure that my dear sister-in-law's name would carry so much weight."  
Aela's heavily armored arm swung over my shoulders, a mock embrace that made me tense up, though I hid it with a weak smile.

"And now you see it does. Thank the gods that I was just coming in or you would have stood here all night."

She nodded at her partner who made his way towards the heavy gates, pushing them open as he did. Aela led me after him, her arm still around me. Behind us, I could hear the gates creak close but still Aela held me, leading me along.

"I thank you for the help," I whispered lowly, trying to free myself of the weight of her arm.

She held fast, though, eyes zoning in on mine.

"I looked into your eyes and saw that of a murderer," she whispered back.

Her partner stopped, glancing over his shoulder, as if he'd heard every word. There was a look in his eyes, an animalistic one that sent every nerve in my body into overdrive. It was a look I knew well and I grinned at that look.

"Werewolves," I chuckled lowly, letting darkness mingle with my words.

Aela's eyes widened but she said nothing, urging me forward at a faster pace.

"I'm right, aren't I?" I gloated, knowing full well that at least he was a werewolf.

I wasn't sure about Aela.

"How about this?" I led with. "Let me go now and no one ends up with a dagger in their neck?"

I leaned closer to Aela, nestling my nose in her hair so that I could speak in her ear.

"I think we both know that I could easily slay any number of guards. Shall we test out my theory?"

Aela's eyes lit up with fire and I cursed myself, knowing I'd said the wrong thing.

"You forget," she growled, the sound more animal than human. "You would have to get through me first."

Her grip tightened to the point where she was almost choking me as she dragged me away.

As soon as they led me into what I suspected was their headquarters, Aela released me.

"Big mistake," I growled, turning on her.

To my surprise, the male, her partner was standing in my way. He looked down on me, as if daring me to continue my attack. I chose to back off.

"I'll go tell Kodlak," Aela reported. "Farkas, keep an eye on her."

With that, Aela strode away, a small smile on her lips. Farkas, meanwhile, continued to stare at me.

"Problem, mutt?" I snapped.

He said nothing in response, still staring as if trying to memorize every detail about me. It made sense though. I probably would have done the same thing but that did not mean I excused him from doing it.

"See something you like, wolf?" I inquired, looking at him from beneath my lashes.

He grunted, a cross between amusement and disbelief before his eyes drifted to a free chair. I followed his gaze, realizing that he wanted me to sit.

"If you think that I'm just going to roll over and obey, you're crazy!" I snarled, lowly, so that only he and I could hear.

Unless there were other werewolves around.

"I may have the eyes of a killer," I went on, still in hushed tones. "But that does not mean I came here to kill!"

"Then what," Farkas asked, his voice as low as mine. "Did you come here for?"

"You would believe me if I told you," I proclaimed.

"That is for us to decide," Aela declared, announcing her return.

She was smiling.

"Kodlak wants to meet her."

* * *

"This is her?"

Kodlak was a Nord. I realized that as soon as I saw him. He watched me with wary eyes, studying my movements, which were limited by Aela and Farkas ensuring that I was secure between them. Standing a few feet away from Kodlak and his "dinner guest" was a High Elf. She kept her back to us, fussing with some books while seemingly organizing them. She cast a sly glance over her shoulder though, her light purple eyes studying me with one look before she looked away again.

"Yes, Kodlak," Aela replied. "The girl with murder in her eyes."

I smirked.

"Yes, turn me over to the guards on the grounds that I have murder in my eyes," I chuckled. "They'll surely act on that."

Kodlak's eyes narrowed at my words. I could see that he saw the truth of my words but was reluctant to let those under his command down.

"You misunderstand. The guards serve the Jarl," he said. "We serve the people. We also protect them. Aela was right to bring you before us, if only for us to ask your intentions for Whiterun."

"Whiterun?" I repeated.

I kept forgetting where I was. I had been so focused on this Riften place the Night Mother had assigned that I had not thought to remain aware of any other place.  
"I have no intentions for this place except a warm bed for the night," I admitted.

"Something I'm sure we can provide, given the trouble we caused her," remarked the High Elf.

She turned, facing the group and smiling.

"Lilith is right, of course," Aela relented. "I did inform the guards that she was my kin. It would be strange to turn her away."

Kodlak nodded at Lilith.

"As always you remind us of ourselves," he praised.

He looked at me.

"You are welcome to stay as long as you need," he went on. "Provided you do not prove to be a threat."

I smiled, trying to look innocent. I was the biggest threat in the room.

"I'll show her where she can stay," Lilith announced.

She smiled at Farkas and Aela, nudging them so that I had my space before she guided me from the room. As soon as those doors closed though, she turned to me, her smile gone.

"Allow me to make one thing very clear, Dunmer," she said, her eyes flashing. "If you do anything to harm or seduce my beloved Farkas, I will turn you into bonemeal so fast, you won't know what hit you!"

Smiling again, she glanced over her shoulder at the approaching Nord who was almost an exact replica of Farkas.

"Vilkas, on the other hand," she said, a bit closer to me now. "You may use him."

"I thank you for the permission," I retorted.

"I know where you come from," Lilith whispered.

Her eyes twinkled, with the knowledge of every little secret she had.

"Oblivion made you colder. Perfect for Molag Bal. Do not let him make you so ignorant to the needs you have as a woman," Lilith instructed.

She turned back to Vilkas, who stood before us now, as we still blocked Kodlak's office.

"Welcome home," she greeted.

He nodded at her, then his eyes drifted to me.

"And who is this?" he asked, really looking.

I almost wondered if Lilith had put suggestions into his mind as well.

"I didn't catch her name," Lilith admitted. "Never fear, Vilkas. She'll be staying a few days."

With that, Lilith led me away, a soft chuckle emanating from her. I found her far more unnerving than the most gruesome of creatures I'd seen in Oblivion.

* * *

The Night Mother left me to my rest rather than urge me onwards to my goal. She was acting rather strange but I relished the rest. I would never return to the deep sleep I'd once enjoyed before upsetting Molag Bal but I enjoyed the sleep I had. I awoke hours later, to find the room empty, different from the night prior when Lilith had guided me to the room with four beds and explained that I need only pick one. So I had, glad that she returned to Farkas. I sat up in the bed, swinging my feet to the floor but not getting up just yet. But my relaxation seemed to be on hold. Aela clomped into the room, her eyes finding me instantly.

"Good! You're awake!" she said in greeting.

I rose to meet her, glaring at her. While I was grateful, or at least I had been, that she had vouched for me, her civilian arrest was bothersome. She seemed undeterred by my sour expression, offering me a bundle of clothes.

"You said you had no business here, which means your plans lie elsewhere. You shall need money and since you are not a Companion, but a guest, we have found you work at the Inn," Aela explained. "Hulda will be glad to have you until she finds more permanent help."

I studied the clothes she'd handed me, yet another dress, one meant for a bar maid though.

"Change fast," Aela urged. "And we might manage to scrounge you up some food."

* * *

The uniform fit me well, more snug in some areas than I would have liked.

"Degrading," I snarled as Aela led the way into the main hall.

She laughed at my that.

"Oh but imagine what Vilkas would think!"

I glared but she blabbered on, not at all bothered by the murder in my eyes anymore. What had this Vilkas done?

"He could not stop asking after you, last night."

"Riveting tale," I grumbled, trying to cross my arms over my breasts, acting as though I was ignoring the stares from two of Aela's companions.

I suspected they stared even after we had passed them. As I said, the uniform was snug.

"Here, take this seat," Aela urged, gesturing to one.

She sat in the seat next to it, tearing into the bread before her as though she were an animal. Across from me, far enough away that she could not touch me sat Lilith. She was speaking to Farkas, one hand on his shoulder. I suppose being married to a werewolf made one possessive of their spouse.

"I suppose you noticed their bond," Aela remarked.

I kept my eyes on the happy couple, ignoring Aela. She was not one to be deterred though.

"I suppose Lilith warned you against seducing him."

"She advised me that Vilkas would suit my needs," I replied.

Aela laughed.

"Oh, she is not fond of her brother-in-law and he is not fond of her. I shall say no more though."

Pity. The irate woman was just starting to arouse my curiosity. I almost asked her why she would say no more when the subject of our conversation sat beside me.

"Good morning," Aela greeted.

"Good morning to you as well," Vilkas replied.

His eyes were drawn to me, sweeping over what he could see of my body. There was a heat in his gaze, one of a man who had never seen a woman. I smiled his way, trying to match his intensity. Perhaps, Lilith was correct. Perhaps I was neglecting my needs as a woman.

* * *

If being the Listener, or just a member of the Dark Brotherhood, taught me anything, it is that the world is an evil place. Good people can only survive so long before they are inevitably destroyed by a greater evil. Hulda was a good woman. She was kind to me, though I could feel her watching me. Or perhaps she was watching the bard. He'd cornered me in the kitchen but had quickly learned the error of his ways. But his touch had left me more…aware. For so long, I had been trapped in Oblivion, never seeing another soul besides ones already in tatters. Yet now I was free, for however long, and basic human needs were returning. Lilith was right. Molag Bal had constructed me into the perfect vessel for his evil deeds, taking away my usual mannerisms and leaving behind only the ones which would ensure both survival and the destruction of potential threats, no matter the unlikelihood that some people would not fit such criteria. But Molag Bal had made one error, forgetting that such things, such needs, would return to me. I had begun to believe Lilith was Molag Bal himself, watching me. Upon my return to Jorrvaskr, I spotted Farkas and Lilith, sitting beside a tall statue, enjoying each other's company. I briefly watched them before entering Jorrvaskr. Exhaustion was overwhelming me and I merely wanted to return to my bed, cursing Aela for this job. I was an assassin. I did not serve men their mead. I slaughtered them in their beds and sometimes on the street. The other Companions were gathered around the table, talking, drinking and eating. Aela's gaze found me and she left her conversation, making her way to my side.

"You look tired," she remarked.

She almost seemed amused.

"Certainly serving mead is not so strenuous."  
She was laughing at me!

"Certainly you have never done an honest day's work," I snapped.

"Ha! I protect Skyrim's people!" Aela argued, still in good spirits.

She sound drunk. I noticed her leering at me, as though she were really studying me.

"Perhaps you do require a man's attention," she mused. "You are in the foulest of moods."

"I need no man!" I spat. "Some ale and you shall see my spirits lift."

"I shall see to it they do!" Aela declared, throwing her arm around me.


	3. Sadness and Sorrows

Ale dulled the senses. It tasted foul and smelled worse, both going down and coming up. But Aela, I will admit, was much like my former best friend, lost to me not by time but by jealousy. As I watched Aela, surrounded by her comrades, I felt an urge to join their circle but scolded myself. Had I not learned my lesson well enough from Kaya, who'd been let in only to begin to resent the accomplishments awarded me when she thought they should have been hers. The last step had been when the Night Mother herself had named me Listener, not even acknowledging Kaya as Keeper, a position she desperately pined for because of her love of both our Mother and our Dread Father. I cared for neither position. So long as I had gold in my purse and a bed in which to sleep, I would fulfill my contracts so long as they came. I closed my eyes against the memory of that day in the Imperial City when she had attacked me and left me no choice but to end her life right there. The feelings of utter betrayal had weighed on me since then and, for the brief time before my imprisonment, I had never let another so close to me as Kaya had been.

"Do you find much comfort in your solitude?"

My eyes opened, focusing on Lilith. Her smile was dry and a bit sarcastic. I noted that her hands were empty of ale or mead and that Farkas had joined the circle. She noticed me watching him over her shoulder.

"I let him indulge to a point," she admitted. "We don't reside here and we so rarely get to visit that it's refreshing to be with family."

"Why bother to tell me this?" I demanded.

"I told you earlier, had you been listening," Lilith replied. "I know who you are."

I said nothing in reply, waiting for her to go on.

"So few want to acknowledge the Daedra but they are quiet a threat, are they not?" Lilith asked. "I particularly like observing Molag Bal. And he has shown much intrigue with me."

My eyes widened. I had heard of such people before my imprisonment. People that, while they did not worship the Daedric Princes, they were highly favored by them.

"He has told me much about you but not how it is you displeased him," Lilith mused.

I could see her digging for the answer but trying not to be obvious. I let my gaze turn hard and angry, so that it would cut like steel.

"That… is none of your concern!" I snapped.

I slammed my ale down, standing, a bit unsteady, and briskly leaving her to her musings amongst the noise of the suddenly too crowded banquet hall. I went to the living quarters, which were, thankfully, empty. I could not stand it all. The revealing uniform, the noise of drunken Nords and the commands of my body, urging me to do so many different things at once were overwhelming and it was beginning to drive me mad. And then there was Lilith, who intrigued, terrified and infuriated me. Her own urgings made me wonder if perhaps she worked for Molag Bal, rather than the mere conversations the two apparently had.

"Is all well with you?"

The voice caught me by surprise, my attention lifting from my self pity to Kodlak. Somehow, he'd snuck up on me, appearing as if by magic.

"Were you drinking as well?" I asked.

He shook his head, as if saddened that he was not acting like a drunken imbecile. With some anger, I realized that I had been among that crowd as well. Kodlak was watching me, his eyes steady.

"It is exhausting, is it not?" he asked.

I said nothing, wondering what he was getting at.

"Lilith informed me of your circumstances."  
"Lilith would," I grumbled.

I sighed.

"I do not require pity," I said. "Much like prison, I served my time."

Kodlak nodded, as if he understood. As if he'd seen the things I had seen.

"Lilith and Farkas will be departing soon," Kodlak informed me. "Tomorrow, to be precise. You are welcome to their room as early as tonight. They have decided to stay at the inn."

His eyes found mine, the wisdom behind them overwhelming me for a moment.

"An experience like that leaves no on unscarred. There is no shame in weakness. Only shame in the denial of that weakness."

He nodded at me, informing me of the location of my new room and then left me, returning to his own chambers. Weakness? I had no weakness because in this world, I had no attachments. I was not meant to exist and I didn't. How was that weakness? My anger stirred once again, I decide it was time to sleep before someone else found me.

* * *

Once more, Aela came to me as soon as I woke up. I was impressed actually. She was no light weight, able to drink, and drink she had, staying up much later than I, yet still she awoke before me.

"Do not expect much activity tonight," she warned, escorting me out.

She was heavily armored and one of the companions joined us as we left. Perhaps she too had a job. As I parted ways with Aela, I was surprised, though not pleasantly, to run into Lilith and Farkas. Lilith smiled my way, warmly, despite the ice that I'd thrown her way. Before I knew what she was doing, she wrapped her arms around me.

"I hope to see you soon," she said.

She drew back, laughing at my bewilderment.

"One day," she promised. "You will remember this day and laugh."

She left me after her declaration and rather than cause a scene, I went to work.

* * *

Hulda had been more talkative today, confiding in me what she knew of her former employees disappearance and assuring me that she was close to finding more permanent help. I wondered if she was unnerved by me. I was well aware how Nords felt about Dunmer. And to them, I was Dunmer, despite my father's Nordic background. I chose not to take offense and did my job, delivering mead and ale to the inn's guest as well as food, though I felt dodging the bard should have been added to my pay since he had not heeded my first warning. Perhaps if I broke a finger? To ignore him, I instead set my mind to the Night Mother. This Riften, where was it? If I had to travel, I'd rather it be by horseback, though I doubted I'd get another chance to steal a horse. Which meant I had to be honest and purchase one, which may come in handy, given that my former horse, an unnamed mare, had never truly been allowed much rest because the Night Mother kept me busy. Before Hulda let me free for the day, I managed to inquire about a horse, to which she replied that she didn't know. I had to bite back a quip and left before I lost my job. When I left, as with the day prior, night had fallen. Unlike that night, I stopped, staring up at the sky. For over 200 years, I had not seen stars. The sky was eternally red, the blood of those lost to its void, I reasoned. To my annoyance, I recalled Kodlak's words, realizing , with equal annoyance, that I had fear. Fear that, at any moment, Molag Bal would return and send me into that place once more. That once again, I would look up and see no stars, but only black mist covering the red sky. That the laughter I heard from children would be that of imps as the little devils flew at me, yanking at my hair and firing magic at my feet as I tried to get away, succeeding and then realizing the pests had made my feet bleed. I hugged myself, the more physical needs of my body temporary receding as my emotions began to run wild. Truly, it was fear of the unknown. Surely, though, the Night Mother would not have called upon my services if she knew I was to be whisked away from her before I could complete the job. With that as my anchor, I returned to Jorrvaskr. Despite Aela's warning found it full of activity, though not the drinking kind. Vilkas was speaking to a group of his fellow comrades, Kodlak's dinner guest from two nights ago present. He was shaking his head.

"Aela will need to hear of this," he said finally. "We wait until she returns."

"Skjor!" Vilkas objected.

"Calm down, Vilkas!" Skjor urged. "I shall go on ahead. When Aela returns, send her after me."

Vilkas nodded, reluctantly and let Skjor leave, watching him. Skjor passed me thus drawing his gaze to me. I stared back evenly, realizing I hadn't seen Vilkas among the drunks the night before. I suppose he must have gone somewhere. Vilkas approached me slowly, gracing me with a welcoming smile.

"I see you remain our guest," he greeted.

"Indeed," I agreed. "Though with less enthusiasm as before."

"And what has changed?"

I was well schooled in the art of seduction. In fact, I'd used it on many contracts to fulfill my needs before killing my victim. Only this time, my victim may very well walk away rather than be found naked the next morning in a puddle of blood.

"I have been unable to get away long enough to inquire about the price of a horse," I replied.

"You are an easy woman to displease," Vilkas said.

He had ceased staring into my eyes, his gaze instead going lower. I did not find myself as annoyed by him as the other men. At least this one, I was trying to seduce. I stepped closer, feeling his armor through my clothes. My senses were heightened which meant my body was readying for the kill. Oh, but it was going to be disappointed.

"You have no idea," I whispered, mouth right next to his ear.

I placed a kiss on his cheek and then I stepped away, not even glancing back to watch my handiwork. If I was right, he would not come tonight. But he would have me on his mind and he would want nothing more but me.

* * *

I was awoken by the sounds of what could only be anger and grief in the middle of the night. I rose, annoyed. My body was exhausted, from the emotions I was rediscovering as well as the work in the inn. Leaving my room, I followed the sound, recognizing Aela's voice. She must have been back from her job. I wondered if she'd spoken to Vilkas or the mysterious Skjor yet even as I pushed open the doors to her room. The room lay in ruins, animal like claw marks on the walls. In the midst of the chaos sat Aela, making the most awful sounds I'd ever heard, almost like she was choking. For a brief second, I entertained the thought that she'd been poisoned but banished it from my mind. If she'd been poisoned, given the state of this room, she would have been laying dead by now. Aela turned to me, her eyes red from shed tears of rage and sorrow.

"Close the doors," she commanded, voice thick.

"What is wrong with you?" I demanded. "You weep as though someone you love has died."

The way her body tensed at my words told me someone had.

"Who has perished?" I asked, taking a step nearer to her.

Aela whirled on me so fast, rising at the same time.

"It does not concern you!" she snarled.

I took a step back, my instinct, not to kill but to survive, taking over. Aela, meanwhile, collapsed to her knees. She looked nothing like the female warrior who had forcefully dragged me to Jorrvaskr. Instead, she looked like nothing more than a woman, heartbroken. She turned those sorrow filled eyes on me, the rage fading a bit as if it had exhausted her far too much for her to hold on.

"Why?" she asked, sobbing a bit. "Why?"  
I stared at her, knowing my surprise was written all over my face.

"Why what?" I asked.

"Why Skjor?" she asked.

Realization dawned on me. Skjor was the reason for her despair as well as for this most inconvenient awakened state I had obtained. I stepped into the room, closing the doors behind me. Aela watched as I went to her bed, pulling the coarse furs she used as a blanket off. I went to her side next, covering her with the fur.

"Death claims many," I declared. "We may not always deem it fair or right but that is the way of life."

My mind drifted to my mother, who had spoken the same words to me when she had handed me my first contract. Her red eyes had shimmered with pride as she walked me to the Sanctuary's doors, instructing me on the easiest and fastest means to kill and then vanish into the night before I was seen.

"Though, you don't have to like it," I added, remembering my mother's fate.

Aela's arms wrapped around me, drawing me out of my memories for which I was glad. I wrapped my arms around her, offering up comfort to express my gratitude. I did not like dwelling on my mother, though I had loved her much. I just never loved the sadness her memory brought.

* * *

I awoke the next morning, mouth fuzzy, as if I'd been drinking, on the floor, Aela still clinging to me. Her hair tickled my chin, much to my displeasure, and I could feel every bone in my body angry that I had so willingly abandoned a bed in order to comfort a woman by spending the night with her on the floor.

"Aela," I said, nudging her awake.

She held me far too tightly and in our current position, I could not simply slide away from her. Her eyes opened, surprise evident as she saw me before remembering the night prior. Looking somewhat embarrassed, she released me, allowing me to rise. My body ached and I stretched, despite the prickling feeling of pins and needles stabbing at my body.

"My thanks," Aela said quietly.

I glanced sidelong at her but her eyes were downcast.

"I lost control of my emotions and you offered my comfort," she said.

I said nothing, just nodding at her apology and hurrying out. It made my skin crawl, watching such a self assured young woman like Aela humble herself. I hurried to my room, bumping into Vilkas on my way there. He nodded at me, face grim.

"I am grateful to you for what you did for Aela last night," he said.

A brief smile was awarded to my look of confusion.

"I was worried when she fell silent and came to check on her."

So, he had seen us. His hand rested on my shoulder. He opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again.

"Farewell," he finally said, leaving me in the hall as he went into Kodlak's chambers.

I did not have time to dwell. Late or not, I still had a job and until Hulda found my replacement, she had no choice but to put up with my tardiness and pay me for what work I did get done.

* * *

"I heard about their loss," Hulda remarked.

She had urged me over as soon as I had walked into the tavern.

"Whose loss?' I asked.

"The Companions," Hulda replied.

She shook her head.

"Skjor was a good, strong man. He will be missed."

I kept my face impassive. I hadn't known him well but I could not be so coldhearted in front of Hulda and risk her paying me less or not at all.

"Tragic indeed," I remarked offhandedly.

"Also," Hulda added, stopping me before I hurried away. "I heard there was a stranger in town. He arrived an hour after you left for the night. Purchased a horse this morning and rode away."

She smiled at me.

"1,000 gold for a horse," she informed me.

I tried to hide both my surprise and disappointment. I would be here forever at that price. Perhaps it was best to simply steal one and then set the beast loose before I arrived at Riften.

"My thanks," I said. "For remembering that I had asked."

Hulda nodded my way and set me off to do my work. I noticed that she had not scolded me for being late.

* * *

Hours later, as I cleaned up, preparing to carry out a heavy bucket of used ash cleaned from the hearth, I was taken by surprise, grabbed roughly by the waist and dragged into the shadows. My body was pressed against a hard body. I moved to fight back but found a dagger at my throat and thought better of it.

"The Night Mother expected you days ago," a deep voice grumbled in my ear.

Shivers went through my body as I felt him sniffing me.

"And I certainly wished you'd arrived on time, now that I've gotten a whiff of you, morsel."

How lovely. Another werewolf.

"Name's Arnbjorn."

"You're awfully talkative, Arnbjorn," I remarked. "How'd you know who I was?"

"Lucky guess," he murmured.

I let out a low chuckle.

"You can let go now," I pointed out.

He did so, resheathing his dagger as I took a few steps away. His eyes were on me fully now, amusement dancing in them.

"Did the Night Mother send you?" I asked.

Arnbjorn rolled his eyes.

"Yes, she sent me. We all await you and here you've been, playing a brainless, well breasted bar maid."

The comment about my breasts made my cheeks hot but I shrugged.

"I travel faster on horseback," I argued. "And I didn't feel much like stealing."

Arnbjorn grinned.

"No, I suppose not. And I don't have enough coin to bring you back with me."

He shrugged.

"I'll head back to the Sanctuary," he said. "See if Astrid'll spot you."

"Astrid?" I repeated.

Arnbjorn smirked, stepping closer to me.

"You smell like a bitch in heat," he whispered to me. "Find someone to help you out with that, or I will."

With that threat, he was gone, leaving me feeling very uncomfortable. If he could smell it, what was to stop any other werewolves hiding out in Jorrvaskr to do the same?

* * *

Jorrvaskr was deathly silent and there was no cheerful drinking. Only silent reflection as each Companion reminisced about Skjor. I waded through the sorrowful quiet of the great hall, my hunger killed by the choking sadness. Well, one hunger. The other had flared up with 200 years of strength to fuel it at first contact with Arnbjorn's body. It felt somewhat wrong to feel such lust when a man had just been killed but the shame was minor. I was use to bringing about death and one lost care of what was right or wrong, morally. Being an assassin left little time for morals. I went straight for my room, wondering how great a risk it was to barricade the door. I was tired of the wearing my dress and wished to be rid of it for a while, even if it meant sleeping naked for the night. Deciding the risk was worth it, I began unlacing the dress even before I opened the door. Inside though, sitting on the edge of my bed was Vilkas. Surprise made me grab at the lacings that held the dress.

"What are you doing in here?" I demanded, more surprised than angry.

He was watching me with heat in his gaze mixed with drowned sorrow and even from where I stood, I could smell ale on him. He'd been drinking. Slowly, he rose from the bed and took a few steps towards me. I moved away a bit, not entirely sure what he was going to do. To add to my nervousness, he closed both doors before his attention went to me and with no warning, he rushed me, forcing me against the wall and crushing my body with his. Thankfully, he still maintained some measure of carefulness and I wasn't completely crushed by his armor. I did not get to ask any more questions as his lips found mine, hungrily claiming them. My hunger flared up then, urging me to take over and hurry this along so that I could get what I needed, but it also left me weak. 200 years of not touching another and when the time came, I was the one being dominated. Vilkas's calloused hands slid beneath my thighs, lifting me and wrapping my legs around his waist. My grip on my dress fell away, exposing my breasts to him, though I can't say he minded. In fact, I think the gesture encouraged him and he skillfully began removing his armor, one handed, even as he kissed me. I heard the tell tale thump! as his armor slid away and his formerly free hand seized my other thigh. He broke the kiss, which tasted of ale but that didn't matter. Arnbjorn had been right as had Lilith and Aela, though she'd spoken in jest. Vilkas was not a man I could love but one I could seek pleasure from. Then again, I was not a woman he could love, rather one he could seek to use to take his mind off his sorrow. I cried out despite myself as his mouth closed around one of my breasts, teasing one of my nipples with his tongue. He did not stay there long. This was a moment of convince not of passion. With a final nip, which hurt just a bit, he drew back, taking away the security I felt with my back against the wall. For one heart stopping moment, I was without back support, afraid I would fall and split my head on the floor until I felt the bed beneath me. Vilkas released my thighs in order to fully remove the rest of his armor, though it took him sometime to do so in his drunken state. Eventually, he succeeded, now turning back to me. His fingers slid up my thighs, lifting my dress and exposing me to him. I blushed madly, more at how my body was reacting then from embarrassment. He did not notice. I closed my eyes, my body waiting for what came next, anticipating it really, and then he was in. I did not expect that and he was so much bigger than men I'd had in the past. It was much like my first time all over again but I did not mind. I merely dug my nails into his back, digging deeper with every thrust. He seemed blind to the possible pain, so intent on one task. I, meanwhile, felt as if my nerves were intentionally making every touch increase tenfold until it was overwhelming and I had to bite my lip from screaming. Above me, I felt Vilkas tense, his grunt of release almost turning into a howl. Shock ran through me at the same time he achieved release, his man essence shooting right into me. Even in the wake of satisfied exhaustion, I stared up at Vilkas, at the werewolf hiding beneath his skin. He stared down at me, as if realizing that I now knew what he was. He didn't seem to care, lowering himself enough to kiss me to no avail. The ale finally claimed him and he nuzzled against me before falling asleep. I sighed deeply, a wave of his body's musk hitting me. How had I not seen he was a werewolf? I honestly could not bring myself to care and allowed myself to succumb to a very satisfied sleep.


	4. Night Mother's Will

Vilkas was gone when I awoke. Good. If he'd stuck around, I honestly don't know what I would have said. I waited a few minutes, staring at the ceiling, before I got up. My body ached a bit, which I ignored. There was a knock at my door, one that made me tense. If it was Vilkas, so help me Sithis.

"What?" I snapped.

"There's someone here to see you."

It was Aela. I played her words back. Someone to see me? Everyone I knew was dead. I dressed fast, fueled by curiosity, despite myself. Aela was gone when I opened the door but I could hear her in Kodlak's quarters, her words muffled and undecipherable. With excitement, I hurried to the great hall, looking around for my supposed visitor. Sitting on one of the benches, legs propped up as if this was her home, was a woman in the familiar black and red of the Dark Brotherhood. Her blonde hair was in a braid which she fiddled with as she waited. She must have heard my approach, turning her cold eyes to me as I approached. I almost smiled. Those eyes were familiar. They were the cold eyes of a killer. I'm surprised Aela didn't drag her down to Kodlak because of the murder in them. Slowly, she rose, resting her hands on her hips as she studied me.

"The Listener," she remarked in a voice meant to keep our conversation between us. "Arnbjorn was right. You are a well breasted bar maid, though you don't look brainless."

I smirked.

"I do try so hard not to be," I replied. "But I can act like one better than most."

She matched my smirk.  
'I like you," she decided.

She offered her gloved hand.

"Astrid," she said. "I've come to bring you home."

I accepted her hand.

"Syra," I replied. "And I can't go home yet. I have to go to Riften."

"All in due time," Astrid said. "First we must get you outfitted and accustomed to the Sanctuary."

I shrugged.

"As you wish," I agreed.

Astrid seemed glad that I didn't continue arguing.

"I suppose given your former residence, you don't have anything to pack. We can leave now," she decided. "And objections."

I answered her with a shrug.

"Anyone you want to say goodbye to?" she asked.

Her smile was gone, replaced with one that meant she'd noticed something and didn't like it. I glanced back, catching my first glimpse of Vilkas that morning. He was watching us, intently. I turned back to Astrid.

"I shall say goodbye when the time comes for my dagger to meet their flesh," I said.

A bloodlust flashed in Astrid's eyes as she once again smiled.

"Oh I do so like you," she declared.

"You'll love me," I proclaimed. "When you see how I kill."

Shadowmere. I had not seen the beast in so long yet he waited in the stables, his red eyes holding an impatience that said he did not enjoy the wait. I reached out, touching his muzzle. He neighed softly, leaning into my touch. Astrid watched us, an unreadable expression on her face. I ignored her, stroking Shadowmere, remembering the last time I had seen him. It had been as I walked into the Imperial City for what was my last job before Oblivion. I had hoped he'd find his way back to Lucian. Apparently he had. Thank Sithis. Astrid mounted Shadowmere, breaking me out of my memories. A part of me wanted to object. This had been my horse before he had been hers. But he was hers now and I'd have to accept that. At least until I killed her.

"That ones yours," Astrid informed me, nodding at a paint horse tied to the fence.

I went to it, touching its muzzle as I began untying it from the fence. Astrid watched me as I mounted and I got the feeling she was judging me, as if trying to decide if she needed me. I almost smiled but managed to hold it in. And here she'd been saying that she liked me. Once I was on my horse, she urged Shadowmere forward at a slow trot.

"When we get back, there are a few contracts you can choose from," Astrid said.

"I already have my assignment," I argued. "The Night Mother-"

"Not you too," Astrid sighed, wearily. "Cicero goes on and on about the Night Mother."

"And you don't approve," I commented dryly.

Had she no respect for our mother?  
"He calls himself the Keeper," Astrid said.

She'd turned a bit to look at me.

"He keeps an old, shriveled corpse with him as if it's a real person."

"She is," I replied. "To those who believe."

Astrid shook her head.

"Perhaps there's a reason you play brainless so well," she grumbled.

* * *

"What," rasped the door. "Is the music of life?"

I stared at the skull. The door hadn't changed much. Astrid was leading Shadowmere to a pool of black water, carelessly tossing aside his reins as he waded in to the water. I hid my anger. If she was going to have such a noble beast at her beck and call, the least she could do was take care of him. I looked away from her and back at the door.

"Silence," I replied. "Is the music of life."  
The door gave a hiss.

"Welcome home," it said, the door opening.

I stepped in with Astrid following. She noticed my smile.

"What's that for?" she asked.

I looked her way.

"It's nice to know some things never change," I replied.

* * *

Some things never change. I felt Astrid's eyes on my back as I walked past Arnbjorn. I'd been with the Brotherhood a month and knew that the family I had walked into was nothing like the one I had left behind. The Five Tenets were gone, lost to time, along with any respect for the Night Mother. And Astrid was forever watching me, wary of the time I spent talking to the Keeper, often late into the night, as well as any interaction I had with her spouse. The latter I only knew because of Nazir, the Redguard that had been giving me my contracts for the past month. He had advised me to stay away from Arnbjorn which was hard. I had no skill as a blacksmith and it was the only time I interacted with the werewolf. Babette greeted me, looking up at me with child like wonder that I knew was just an act. She was older than me, despite the looks of a ten year old child. I offered my gloved hand and she took it.

"Run into another dragon?" she asked.

She probably noticed my singed clothing. Babette was the only one who knew of my past as the Dragonborn. She did not fully understand the implications but knew that when I was out and about, dragons were just drawn to me.

"Yes," I replied, glumly.

I had to give her credit, she didn't laugh, instead biting her lip a bit, the only tell that she was laughing at me. I glanced over my shoulder to ignore her, my eyes on the route we'd taken.

"So," I said, still looking back. "Do I have enough?"  
Babette had proven I could trust her, despite her apathetic personality. Thus, I had entrusted what septims I had to her for safe keeping. She took them with her and stashed them in a hollow tree near the sanctuary. I was saving for Riften, still intent on following my orders from the Night Mother. Cicero certainly approved.

"I think so," Babette was saying. "You don't need to buy a horse. All you need is supplies to get you to Riften and that's not as far from here as it is from, say, Whiterun?"

I ignored her attempts at a joke, though her teasing annoyed me. No matter how old she was, she would never stop being a child. She'd just be one morbid child. Forever.

"When will you go, Syra?" Babette inquired.

I looked her way.

"I shall go tonight," I replied. "You have an assignment which means I can leave with you so that Astrid won't hear the door opening and get suspicious."

Babette nodded her agreement.

"I hope you'll be ready then."

I'd been ready since I got here.

* * *

Astrid knew. Well, she knew something. As always, I felt her eyes on me as I sat with Gabriella, eating an apple. It was the only thing around the sanctuary whose taste did not have to be improved with ale or mead and I would need a clear head for tonight.

"Is she always so watchful?" I asked Gabriella.

I was careful to keep my tone light. I had been hit with the realization that my arrival had caused a split in loyalties. Gabriella had chosen Astrid as had Arnbjorn. He was to be expected, given that he was her husband. Babette had claimed that while she felt loyalty to Astrid, she was more loyal to me. As for the rest, I interacted with them so little I just assumed that they chose Astrid above me.

"Yes," Gabriella lied.

I'd been watching Astrid when she thought I hadn't been. Occasionally, her eyes would find her husband lovingly but that was it. She watched me, like a hawk. It was rather annoying.

"I suppose I understand," I remarked, offhandedly.

I was glad Gabriella had been so obvious in her decision. It made it easier to manipulate her.

"She is wise."

Before Gabriella could respond, I leapt from my perch and headed for Cicero where I knew I would find him. As always, he was in the Night Mother's chambers, mumbling to himself. I knew the Night Mother wasn't listening to him. She never would. But she listened to me and she talked to me.

_'Listener,' _she hissed. _'I have given you a contract and still, it goes ignored.'_

"My apologies, Mother," I said, announcing myself to Cicero.

He looked about ready to say something but I held my hand up to silence him.

"I intend to go to Riften as you have commanded," I assured the Night Mother.

_'When, my Listener?' _she rasped.

"Tonight," I promised. "And no later."

_'See that you do,' _she urged before falling silent.

I lowered my hand, nodding at Cicero.

"My apologies, Keeper," I said.

Cicero's beady eyes stared at me.

"No need to apologize, Listener. The Keeper understands."

His smile unnerved me but I pressed on.

"I need a favor of you, Keeper," I went on.

"Anything!" he declared. "Anything for the Listener!"

"I need you to watch Astrid tonight. She must not find out that I left."

"But of course, Listener! Anything for the Listener."

I smiled at him.

"I like the sound of that."

* * *

"Nazir, do you have any more contracts?" I asked.

My eyes went to Astrid, pausing from drawing back the furs that covered my bed.

"None yet," Nazir replied. "Syra ensured that."

I hid my smile as I continued fiddling with my bed, waiting for the two of them to leave and Babette to show her face.

"I see," Astrid said.

I glanced back at her only to lock eyes with her,

"Is there a problem, Astrid?" I asked, as innocently as possible.

"No," she replied.

She turned back to Nazir.

"Well, good night."

With that, she left, casting one final glance back at me. I met it with a dark smile, one that said that, without the five tenets to bind me, I would and could kill her, even as she slept.

* * *

"Ready?"

Babette had wisely waited until everyone else was asleep, and I myself was on the verge. Now, though, I sat up, groggy, and threw of the fur I was covered with. Babette watched, obviously amused that I was like a child awoken from a deep sleep, unable to function right. I quickly shook that off, following Babette as I pulled on my cowl. We reached the door without being detected, though I doubted anyone would care that Babette was off on another job. As soon as that heavy door was nestled in its frame once more, I nodded my thanks at Babette.

"Best of luck," I said. "May Sithis be with you."

She nodded and then was gone, vanishing before my eyes, leaving me staring at Shadowmere's pool. I longed to summon him and take him with me but, alas, it was not meant to be. With deep regret, I turned away, sought out the horse Astrid had bestowed upon me and headed for Riften.

I would never get use to them. The spider creatures that shimmied all over the place. There was one in the Sanctuary but, at my request, it had been kept far away from me. But out in the wilds of Skyrim, nothing held them back and they gave chase as soon as I zoomed past them. I urged Bane ever faster, looking back every so often and seeing just one furry leg. That was all it took. Where was Riften? When would I come to the final turn that would mean guards? Guards who knew how to fight these creatures! As if in answer, I could see the tell tale sign of a guard's tower. Thank Sithis. I urged Bane faster still, thundering around the curve, taking note of the well worn path, covered in footprints, horse hooves and wagon marks. Another bend revealed the towering walls of what I prayed was Riften. Just outside, a few inches from the stables was a Khajiit convoy, different from the one I'd traveled with on my way to Whiterun. The Khajiit gathered watched with mild interest as I rode past, stopping Bane from a back breaking gallop in the span of a few seconds. The stable master watched, his eyebrow rising at my rough handling of Bane. Apologetic, I patted the paint horse's heaving neck, running my fingers along the white muzzle. It tossed its head, seeming mighty proud of itself. Regardless, I could not do that again. The strain would probably kill her. I turned to the stable master.

"Do you mind if I leave her with you?" I asked.

He shook his head, smiling.

"Feel free," he said.

I offered him a smile and offered the reins to the stable hand who managed to appear mysteriously quietly before I headed for the gates. The guards eyed me, suspicious, making me glad that I had opted for my bar maid uniform rather than my Dark Brotherhood uniform. I smiled as the gates creaked behind me but kept walking, eyes scanning the dismal town. How would I be able to tell a thief from these lovely citizens? An inn or tavern seemed my most likely source of information. After all, if I was a thief, I would probably target the richest place in town, which was usually the Jarl's Keep. Wherever that was. I seized the wrist of a random female Nord, holding her in place, almost laughing when she tried to twist out of my hold. She had spark, I'd give her that.

"Where's the nearest inn?" I demanded.

She glowered back at me, rage in her eyes. Not enough that I had to worry she'd kill me.

"Bee and Barb," she replied, her voice a growl.

She nodded at it with her chin.

"Tavern."

I released her, smiling as I did.

"Much obliged," I lied, backing away. "Don't go anywhere. If you're lying, I want you to meet Sithis for it."

I saw the fear in her eyes as she realized what I was, well, who I was rather and I let that fear lift my spirits just a bit. Funny how that fear almost made up for having to sleep on the hard ground when Bane needed to rest and having to almost kill my horse to avoid a pack of outrageously big spiders. I said almost. The Bee and Bard was noisy when I walked in but that noise would serve me well. Behind the bar was an Argonian, deep in conversation with a Dunmer. Both women paused in their conversation, eyes on me as I passed them. There went my hopes of remaining inconspicuous and gathering information. Caught now, I smiled, heading towards them, trying to emanate a pleasant air.

"Has anyone ever told you that you have a very bone chilling smile?"

I froze in my tracks at the familiar voice, begging my ears to be wrong. With my heart now in the pit of my stomach, I turned, face to face with Lilith. She wore her ever present smirk, her brown hair tied back but strands still escaped, framing her face and drawing my attention once more to her smirk.

"No," I said. "You cannot be here!"

"Why ever not?" Lilith asked, obviously trying to hold back laughter, using the sleeve of her mage's robe to hide her mouth. "I live here."

I had opened my mouth to argue back but found her information enough to steal my words. She let one giggle escape, reaching out and shutting my mouth for me.

"Farkas and I decided this was the place where we would live and try and better the community," she explained.

She pointed, her hands on my shoulders turning me to face one part of the room, revealing Farkas sitting in a chair. He lifted his mug to acknowledge me before he went back to drinking and talking to a heavily armored female Nord. Lilith did not seem worried and turned me back to face her.

"Now then," she prompted. "What are you doing here?"

I shrugged, as if I was completely calm and not at all freaked that she was here.

"I needed a change of scenery," I replied.

Lilith's eyes flashed with mischief and she tilted her head to the side, as if listening to someone. For a second, I thought she was crazy but my eyes widened in realization at the memory of her connection to the Daedra.

"Who are you listening to?" I demanded quickly.

"Mara," Lilith answered.

She grinned.

"She has plans for you," Lilith informed me.

I backed away a bit but she caught my wrist.

"Look, whatever you're here for, it doesn't matter. Come stay with Farkas and I," she urged.

She spoke fast, as if trying to ease the discomfort she'd stirred up in me.

"We have plenty of room until my new assistant arrives and I'm sure you're business will be done by then."

My mind instantly began its calculations. By staying with Lilith and Farkas, I'd save what money I had, which wasn't much after the Brotherhood got their cut.

"I accept," I said.

* * *

Despite my reservations, Lilith turned out to be a much better source of information then I had first thought. She answered my questions even before I asked them, every so often doing that head tilt that made me want to hit her. If the gods had cared for me at all, they would have interfered with Molag Bal and they did not. The same could be said of the other Daedric Princes whom I wasn't too fond of at the moment. But Lilith made up for her fault by showing me around Riften, though I could care less about the sites past Mistveil Keep. That was where I would find my thief.

"You should watch out for him," Lilith was saying, nodding at a Nord who happened to be addressing a crowd.

I noticed one man from the crowd, a Nord, creeping behind one of the displays. Lilith saw him too, shaking her head.

"He's trouble."

"What kind of trouble?" I asked, intrigued.

It was probably why I had crossed Molag Bal. If I wasn't suppose to do it, I did it. The Nord turned to look our way, his eyes on Lilith instantly.

"Lilith!" he called.

She gave a frustrated huff and sped up, catching my arm and tugging me along.

"Is this anyway to treat a suitor?" I teased.

"He's not interested in me that way. He's aware that I am the temporary court mage here in Riften and he wants a few secrets. Maybe even a way to break in."

I smirked.

"And here I thought you were attracted to the unsavory type," I remarked. "A werewolf husband."

She smirked.

"And a Dark Brotherhood Listener as a friend. Truly, I do attract the most unsavory types," she threw back.

I didn't like that she knew my rank in the Brotherhood and kept my mouth shut, following her around town, all amusement gone. That seemed to suit her just fine.

* * *

I could hear Lilith and Farkas above my head and I desperately wished they were just talking. Turning onto my side, I pulled the furs over my head. My stomach was rebelling against Lilith's cooking and it did nothing to soothe me. I sat up, covered in sweat. It was too damn hot in the house. At least in the Sanctuary, the mix of the natural dampness mixed with Arnbjorn's fires evened things out. I yearned for Babette to talk to. She, like many kids, liked to talk more about herself than she like to listen to me. And that's what had lulled me to sleep so many nights. Babette talking about the people she'd killed. Morbid but it worked and I yearned for it now. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, trying to center myself a bit. Perhaps meditation would ease my nerves. I slipped into a neutral state of mind, one that left me disconnected from the world around me while intensifying my sense of smell as well as my hearing. Which is how I heard the whisper of a lockpick in a lock. Meditation would have to wait. I dragged myself out of my inner sanctuary and leaned over, blowing out my flickering candle that I'd brought to bed with me. Whoever was breaking in had probably taken the dying flames as a sign that the residents had fallen asleep with the candle lit. They thought they were safe. Reaching into my boots which rested beside my bed, I withdrew my ebony dagger, a deadly prize one of my victims had pulled on me. Not that it did them much good. I had managed to keep the dagger hidden from both Gabriella and Astrid and tonight it would serve me well. Or so I hoped. I pushed myself into a dark corner, making sure the blade's glint didn't give me away. Silently, the door opened, letting in two sets of footsteps. I strained my ears, listening for more but none came. This was almost too easy. The knob of my door jiggled, testing, and I held my breath, rising to rest on the balls of my feet. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited. Murder did that to me. The door opened and I surged forward, one hand yanking the hood of one of the two thieves over his eyes while I lashed out at the other with my dagger. He stumbled back a bit, falling and crashing into the table. Above our heads, I heard the happy couple stumbling around in the dark, no doubt looking for their clothes. Meanwhile, the one whose hood had been hiding his eyes freed himself, snarling in rage and attacking with a small dagger. He probably expected me to block with my own dagger, giving his friend a chance to attack but I responded with a swift kick to the head, grinning as he fell into the cooking pot, hot stew spilling over onto him. He cried out, rolling away from the scorching stew, crawling for the door. I would have gone after him but his partner was back in action, seizing the back of neck and yanking me into the very table he'd destroyed minutes ago. I couldn't help but cry out as a piece of sharp and pointed wood sliced into me. I'd had enough wounds to know that this one was mortal. With that strength I had left, as my life blood spilled all over the floor, I thrust forward with my dagger, satisfied when it slid easily into the thief's neck. He collapsed, drowning in his own blood. I noticed the other thief, paused in the door, looking back at me. I could see his face now and he actually looked like he felt bad.

"Apologies, lass," he said. "I'll beg Nocturnal to spare ya."

I offered him a glare.

"Hail Sithis," I spat.

That was the last of my strength and I let my head lull to the side.

* * *

Fingers came from the darkness, twisting through the darkness like it was hair, before wrapping around me.

"Sy…ra," a voice hissed.

I was too tired to care, letting myself be sucked into that void. Just as my hips were swallowed, strong hands seized me, lifting me up, fighting to keep me out of the dark.

"Hold on," a voice said, female, which meant there were two people fighting for me.

Then the arms were gone, replaced by much smaller, much more feminine ones.

"Go back!"

I recognized the voice, not wanting to and began to struggle. I had to get away. Frantic, I thrashed, shoving my hands into that all too familiar face and pushing her away. Without that anchor, I plunged into the darkness, swallowed whole in seconds.

I felt that heat as soon as my eyes opened, listening to the sound of grunting. Glancing around, my eyes rested on the open doorway and the sight of Farkas struggling with a new table. So he was the one grunting. Now that I was awake, I could also hear a rumbling tone filled with authority. A guard perhaps? The voice was gone though and the front door closed, probably by Lilith who I could see striding into the kitchen.

"They confirmed it," she announced. "The Thieves Guild."

She sighed in frustration.

"Someone should do something about them!"

Farkas sat on the new table's bench, facing her.

"Well, he wasn't just a thief," he remarked. "He was part of that Morag Tong."

Despite myself, I shot up, surprised to find that I had no pain. Lilith and Farkas turned, obviously not having expected me to be awake so soon.

"He was Morag Tong?" I asked. "Are you sure?"

"You should get some more rest," Lilith urged. "A body still needs rest no matter how good the healer."

I ignored her, still staring at Farkas who nodded, glancing up at Lilith, as if seeking her approval. Only then did I sink back onto my bed, listening to Lilith mutter beneath her breath. Morag Tong, the Brotherhood's most bitter rivals and the group of assassins who'd killed my father. I didn't blame them for that though. After all, my father had been one of them and he'd failed to follow through on the last contract they'd given him. Of course, if he had, I wouldn't be alive today. A part of me wondered if that contract was still alive to this day. He certainly had tried to kill me from the get go.

"I'm leaving to meet with Maven," Lilith announced. "She let her dogs into my yard and I'm not happy."

She was speaking to Farkas as she tugged on a brown wool coat.

"Be careful," Farkas requested, kissing her cheek.

She smiled and left, leaving him instructions to not let me out of bed. I let my face contort with annoyance. I was not a child and Lilith had admitted that I was fine, though not in as many words. To my dismay though, Farkas seemed determined to follow her orders.

"When she speaks, I listen," he had said when I'd tried to leave the house.

Now I sat at the new table, watching him stir the stew, my eyes fixated on his broad shoulders.

"You know, I slept with your brother," I announced. "After Skjor's death."

"Vilkas already told me," Farkas replied.

He glanced at me, showing me clearly that my ploy had failed.

"He says it meant nothing to him," he went on. "And he regrets what he did."

I tilted my head, not wanting him to go on but knowing he would.

"He thinks he used you and he's usually the smart one. But why do I get the feeling you used him?"  
I smiled then, a slow, evil smile. More like a sneer really.

"Are you sure he's the smart one?" I asked.

Farkas shook his head, sighing deeply but looked back at the task at hand.

"So, why do you listen to Lilith. Are you afraid that she'll zap you or something?" I proceeded. "Or do you not like to think for yourself?"

"She's the new Harbinger," Farkas replied. "When it matters, what she says, goes."

"The new Harbinger?"

I was so sure I had heard the term before.

"What happened to the old one?"

"Kodlak was the old Harbingers. And he was killed by the Silver Hand."

"Kodlak is dead?" I repeated.

To my surprise, I felt a small ache, which was hard to believe because I had barely known the man. Yet he reminded me of a man I once knew, who'd watched over me in the Dark Brotherhood. Though I doubted Kodlak was as homicidal or morbid.

"The Silver Hand?" I asked.

I saw Farkas smirk.

"That I won't tell you," he replied. "I get the feeling you'd run off and kill them. Or try and end up getting killed."

"I'm better than you think," I objected.

"I don't doubt it. But Lilith likes you. Says the Daedric and the Divines had plans for you. I think it best you gain some favor with them before next you meet Molag Bal."

I said nothing, rising from the table and returning to my temporary room. I hated all the reminders. They felt like taunts. Flopping down on my bed, I curled into a ball and closed my eyes. I didn't want to sleep but it seemed all there was to do in this house.


	5. Battle Scars

Farkas had gone out but I could hear a guard in the house, one that Farkas had befriended in Riften. He was at the table, bustling around. Or at least he had been. He'd been silent for quite some time but I knew he hadn't left. Still, Farkas's departure aroused my curiosity. Had something happened to Lilith? I didn't care or anything. I was merely curious. My curiosity had led me to their alchemy lab, where Lilith kept an impressive book selection. It had to be hers. After all, Farkas was the dumb one. Huddled on my bed, I read, blocking out the world around me as best I could. I didn't care if the guard left. It was far to late to return to the Sanctuary. Not with those spiders out there. Not that I was afraid of them.

"Good book?"

The voice made me cringe as I thought of my dagger, tucked in my boot by my bed. With eyes that gave nothing away, I looked at the woman at the door. She watched me with narrowed eyes, suspicious.

"Fascinating," I replied.

I recognized her clothing. The thieves from the night before had worn them.

"Pretty gutsy," I remarked. "Breaking into the same place twice. Especially with a guard in the kitchen."

"Not much of one. And I didn't break in. I told him I was here to check up on you."

"Awful nice of you."

My eyes found my boot and the dagger hilt which poked out of the top.

"You're probably wondering why I'm here," she went on.

"Of course not," I replied.

I stretched, nudging the book slowly, so that she wouldn't notice.

"I expect that you're out for revenge."

"No."

Her response made me pause. No? Certainly not what I had expected. Despite that, I continued nudging the book.

"I just want to know how you heard them."

I smirked, the book finally hitting the floor.

"You're not as quiet as you think," I replied.

I was beginning to realize who she was. Well, in terms of organization.

"You're Thieves Guild, aren't you?" I asked.

Her eye twitched but she gave no other indication that I was right. She didn't have to. I knew. Smirking still, I reached for the fallen book.

"Been awhile," I remarked, hand curling instead around my dagger's hilt. "Is the Gray Fox still running the show?"

"No comment," she replied.

"But of course."

With that, I lunged and she ducked, rolling to the floor.

"Are you crazy? You want that guard to come running?" she demanded.

"I'm not the one with something to hide," I retorted.

I adjusted my grip on my dagger, drawing my arm back and preparing to throw. My visitor reached beneath my bed, yanking out my cowl.

"Really?" she asked.

I paused, weighing my options. If I threw this and killed her, would I have enough time before the guard came in? I assumed I could since he'd probably shake off sleep before bursting in. But I'd humor her. She was obviously desperate. So I lowered my arm, letting my glare speak for itself.

"I just want to know how you managed to detect them," she said. "And to request your help."

"I won't help you break into the Keep," I declared, crossing my arms.

"We don't need help doing that. But I have a job and I'm good but so was Brynjolf. And you still heard him. Makes me think this curse is real."

Curse? This smelled a lot like Daedra to me. And while I was hesitant to get involved with them, I was also curious.

"What job?"

Her lips quirked.

"Bit eager, huh?" she chuckled. "Though I guess Lilith has probably been doting on you like she's your mum. She does that. Name's Vex by the way."

I crossed my arms.

"I don't recall asking your name nor your opinion of Lilith. I asked about the job."

Vex only seemed amused. Why did everyone find my annoyance cute rather than a reason to speed up?

"Goldenglow Estate is close to Riften. And its owner hasn't been paying his dues," Vex explained. "I need to get into the house and swipe the deed from the vault. And light up a few beehives."

"Seems easy enough," I remarked. "How could you possibly screw it up?"

Now Vex glared at me.

"There are mercenaries all over the estate," she said, crossing her arms. "Which is where you come in."

I smirked.

"Like I said, easy enough."

"There is a catch, though," Vex admitted.

My eyes narrowed, brow furrowing. I didn't like catches. They never worked in my favor.

"The Guild will inevitably find out about you so I want you to come with me as a recruit," Vex continued.

"In case you hadn't noticed, I'm the Dark Brotherhood's Listener. I can't just up and enroll in your guild," I pointed out.

"This one job," Vex promised. "And I'll say you didn't make the cut. Much too bloodthirsty. Mercer with see you as a liability and you'll be out."

I studied her. I didn't trust her but she was making it hard to say no.

"Very well," I finally relented. "I'm in."

* * *

With instructions to meet Vex later that night as well as directions to said place, I napped, vaguely aware of Lilith and Farkas's return as well as their bustling in the kitchen. It was rather annoying that my hearing was so excellent, despite Vex's desire to use it. I supposed in most professions, where one doubted their honed skills, my attributes would be welcomed. But only for that moment in time. Vex had left me a uniform, part of the instructions being to wear it when I met with her. Because I was also to meet Mercer, whoever he was.

"Awake are you?" Lilith asked.

I glanced at her, where she stood at the end of my bed.

"No," I replied. "I am sleep walking."

"Alas, " she quipped. "You are walking nowhere."

I rolled my eyes.

"I am not hungry," I informed her. "Now go away."

I heard her chuckle lowly, murmuring something to herself, so low that even my excellent hearing could not detect it. I could tell she was speaking to those damned Divines again. Or the Daedra. Damn them all, I said. Instinct took over, forcing me to send my dagger flying for Lilith's head. She took a step to the side as the blade's tip slid into the wall next to her head. She studied the ebony blade, her usually amused eyes dark as she looked my way. I matched her look with my own glare.

"Do not consult with your damnable little friends every time I prove difficult," I snapped.

"Do not continue to be difficult," Lilith retorted. "It is becoming more and more like caring for a child."

"And yet, you welcomed me into your home," I said.

She smiled darkly.

"Because I know you. You are a pitiful creature rather than the strong warrior you try so hard to act like you are. And for all your faults, I could no more turn you away then I could a child. Unfortunately, you are far too old for the orphanage and we are stuck with you."

I had a feeling my mouth had dropped open, which seemed to only amuse Lilith more.

"I know Vex visited you today," she went on. "And I also know what path you will take. I only warn you to be careful."

That said, Lilith left, shutting my door gently, despite the rage I felt radiating off of her.

* * *

Vex awaited me by the altar of Talos, smirking when I approached.

"It suits you," she commented, jerking at me with her chin.

I ignored her and her implications, crossing my arms over the Thieves Guild armor. I'd worn the cowl, adding a mask to it.

"Follow me," she instructed, pushing herself up and leading me toward a small cemetery.

My lips quirked upwards. I'd heard rumors that the Dark Brotherhood and the Thieves Guild shared similar methods. Secret entrances was one of them, I mused, watching Vex kick at a lone coffin. The coffin and the floor it rested on slid back, revealing a short staircase. From where I stood, I could see a sewer entrance and grimaced, glad to have covered my mouth and nose. At least I would avoid the smell. Vex trudged down the stairs and I followed, trying not to flinch when she pulled a chain on the wall that closed us in the small space. Dark and small places, I wasn't good with but Vex couldn't know that. I made sure she could not see my white knuckles as I closed them around my ebony dagger. Breathe, I reminded myself firmly. Vex lifted the sewer covering, revealing a ladder rather than a short jump into filthy water. Glancing my way to see what I thought of said ladder, she grinned.

"Welcome to the Cistern," she said, climbing down.

I followed, leaping from the ladder about half way down, landing in a crouch beside Vex.

"Couldn't just use the ladder like everyone else, could you," Vex murmured.

"No," I replied, rising.

Vex smiled a bit.

"Didn't think so," she said. "Come on."

She started walking, waving for me to follow. I wanted to object. I was not a child that needed to be guided. But given that I was only an "initiate", I suppose I had to at least act like one. At least it was more dignified than, say, a brainless bar maid. So I followed, eyeing the few wanderers scattered around the Cistern. Some were asleep in beds, napping between jobs while others loitered silently near the edge of the water, being courteous to their fellow brethren. I must have made a small sound because Vex paused, glancing my way.

"What's so funny?" she asked.

"Nothing," I lied though it was half true.

The care those awake took to give their sleeping brothers silent was almost honorable. And certainly there was no honor among thieves. Then again, there was none among assassins as well, which is what kept my mouth shut when faced with Vex's question. Vex shook her head, leading us on, under the watchful gaze of the thieves.

"Mercer!" Vex called, her voice bouncing off the walls.

Apparently she cared little for those asleep. In fact, those that didn't mumble profanities ,merely rolled over, burying their heads beneath their pillows and went back to sleep.

"Vex!" a firm voice scolded. "For Nocturnal's sake!"

Vex smiled at me again, nodding at the lecturing Nord approaching.

"That's Mercer," she mouthed.

As if I cared. I intended only to meet him once. And then never again. Mercer approached slowly, his dark eyes narrowing more and more as he took in the sight of me.

"Who?" he demanded as soon as he was close enough. "Is that?"

I could tell he longed to know my gender, to dismiss me but I had taken pains to make it less than obvious that I was female. Luckily, the Brotherhood I had been an initiate in originally had plenty of men trained by my mother who'd been more than willing to play big brother to me in return. In that aspect, we were a real family. I could walk, talk, dress, eat and even drink like a man, though I found the latter a disgusting habit as it turned the most respectable men into brainless clouts. Mercer continued studying me though he addressed Vex.

"This is my new recruit," Vex replied. "I want to take them with me on the estate job."

I smiled beneath my makeshift cowl. She hadn't known why I was trying so hard to hide the fact that I was a girl but she wasn't going to expose me. Perhaps she wasn't as dumb as I had originally believed. Mercer scoffed.

"You could do that job in your sleep!" he argued.

"This one has potential," Vex persisted. "What better way to test it than a real job?"

Mercer shook his head, mumbling something about regrets and bad ideas.

"Fine," he said at last.

Despite myself, I felt my heart beat increase, excited that this would no doubt be a very bloody night.

As with the Cistern, Vex decided our most likely entrance was through the sewers. Splashing, as quietly as possible, through the murky water, I slid my hood back.

"Your boss is a charmer," I remarked dryly.

Vex chuckled a bit.

"And yours is much better?"

"I wish," I remarked dryly.

* * *

I was not the most capable leader. Rather than remain content organizing contracts and playing recruiter, I had insisted that my mother handle that, allowing me to work in the field. Killing people was much preferred to sending others off to do the job. Still, the Listener led the Dark Brotherhood. And Astrid was not the Listener. Our conversation died a bit as we seemed to draw closer to the estate. There were more giant rats or skeevers to kill which I did with ease.

"No stomach?" I inquired, after I had, yet again, dispatched a small nest.

"I'm in the Thieves Guild for a reason," Vex replied. "I'm no murderer. I will kill if its absolutely necessary though."

She glanced back at me, pausing, the filthy water up to her knees.

"So why do you take so much pleasure in killing?"  
I smirked.

"It's in my blood," I replied. "My mother was Brotherhood. My father, Tong."

Vex's eyes widened a bit as she fully grasped my words.

"You didn't stand a chance," was all she said.

We moved on.

* * *

Despite my training, my mother refused me contracts over and over again, urging me to better my stealth until the day that I could walk past her and my father unheard. She wanted me to be invisible, I wanted to strike fear into the hearts of my victims right before I ripped them out. We butted heads but I always minded my mother. She was the best at what she did and only wanted to raise me thusly. I can be invisible, which is what Vex required right now. With no noise at all, I lifted the sewer covering, listening for sounds of life. None. At least not nearby. I motioned to Vex who leapt up, pulling herself from the sewer and crouching in the small room.

"Follow me," she urged.

I nodded, crouching and hurrying behind her, my body reaching out for the tell tale sounds of men. Surely they weren't all outside. That would be careless when the real treasurers are usually inside. Vex led me forward, our movements disturbing nothing, even though I could tell Vex was distracted. By what, I was unaware.

"Do you hear anything?" she asked.

She sounded panicked, though not to the extent that it was obvious. Only one as panicked as she would have heard. And I found myself panicked.

"No," I replied.

She let out a deep sigh.

"The safe is downstairs," she announced. "We head down and grab the stash. Circle back and burn the hives."

Her plan gave me reason to pause. Never had I felt comfortable infiltrating a castle to kill a servant. They usually worked and lived under the castle, making it that much harder to get out. An ambush! That's what could await us. But Vex was already out of my sight, creeping into a possible trap. With no other choice, I followed her.

"Vex," I hissed lowly.

She shushed me.

"Job like this requires quiet," she scolded lowly.

"And caution," I snapped back. "Something's not right. I can't hear a thing."  
"Must mean they all went out," Vex replied.

"Except they had to know your guild wouldn't roll over so easily."

Vex paused at my reasoning, looking up at me.

"So, if you can't hear them and their not out drinking, where are they?" she asked.

I slid past her, landing lightly at the bottom of the stairs and peeking around it, whispering one of few spells I knew. Instantly, violet flares rose up, shaped like men. I glanced Vex's way.

"Three men," I said to her, voice low.

She nodded. I'd dealt with Cyrodil's Thieves Guild. They preferred not to kill. It was bad for business. But I was Dark Brotherhood. And this was my business.

"Stay!" I hissed at Vex.

Before she could ask why, I darted out, obviously taking the men by surprise. Before they knew what was happening, my ebony dagger was in my hand and I leapt, legs circling the meatiest neck as I mercilessly plunged my dagger into the jugular. I was aware of the other two who came running but I leapt off their partner, shoving him back into them. One managed to avoid the dead weight, his war hammer raised as he drew closer. I spun out of the way, slicing his throat with ease. Blood spurted from the wound, splattering on my face where the hood failed to cover me.

"Syra!" Vex yelled in alarm.

I spun, surprised to see the third mercenary had recovered a lot faster than I had suspected. My best bet was to attempt a block, pray it worked and if I failed, the driving force behind his war axe would most likely cause some serious damage. Time seemed to slow, my arm rising, dagger clutched, weighed by the weight of hope that it would be enough. The sound of metal meeting metal rang out in the room as well as the sound of a blade shattering. The tip of my poor, abused dagger clattered to the floor uselessly, much to my horror since the mercenary was gearing for another attack. Weaponless, I threw myself back, a very familiar figure thrusting herself between me and the axe. Vex cried out, dropping the steel dagger she held as the axe dug into her back. Reacting fast, I scooped up the dagger with one hand, catching Vex with the other and plunging her dagger into the mercenary's neck. His gurgled cries filled my ears as I cradled Vex.

"You idiot!" I snarled.

The axe hadn't buried itself in her back, the offending weapon at my feet. Vex smirked.

"Say what you want," she gasped.

I swore, lifting her into my arms and dropping my last piece of dagger. I suspected it would be much harder leaving than it had been getting in.

* * *

"Vex!"

I endured the stairs of those in the Ragged Flagon and Cistern, my armor torn and my body bleeding. Except for the wound on her back, Vex was otherwise unharmed. Her eyes were on my face, really studying me. My hood had been torn and the mask portion gone, leaving my bleeding cheeks exposed. Men were running towards us, calling out to Vex.

"Thank you," she said.

I felt strong hands grip Vex and I let her go, collapsing to my knees as I did. As I suspected, it had been harder breaking out then it had been breaking in. Mercenaries had flooded the house, blocking the way to the sewer. So I'd used the front door. Which was why Vex and I were dripping wet.

"Lass?"

I looked up, staring at Brynjolf. His eyes widened, recognizing me instantly. Probably because I had slaughtered his friend. I let my lips curl in a cruel smile. If he ousted me right here and now, I was no match.

"If you're going to kill me, at least pull the arrow out of my shoulder," I requested.

I saw the ghost of a smile grace his lips and he turned away, probably satisfied to tell his pals who it was had thinned their ranks. Without further warning, he bent, lifting me, summoning a loud squeak from deep inside me.

"Where are you taking me?" I demanded.

"To that table," he replied.

I looked at the one he indicated, noticing a very unhappy Mercer. Without a look at his Guild Master, Brynjolf set me down, gently, drawing a dagger from his back. I watched with suspicious eyes but he was calm, hand wrapped around the arrow as he cut through the neck. I grunted but made no other noise. Surely, he wouldn't care for me only to turn around and kill me. His blade sliced through the guild cuirass I wore, revealing my bare skin. I'd been naked before many men before so I was able to remain calm as Brynjolf's fingers prodded the area around the embedded arrow head, probably trying to see how deep it was in and if he could possibly dislodge it.

"It's in there good," I heard Mercer remark.

"Aye, that it is," Brynjolf agreed.

I heard the sound of liquid smacking against a bottle and closed my eyes, knowing where this was going. I'd seen my mother do this to my father the few times an archer caught him when he least expected it and the arrow was in deep. Alcohol to both numb and sanitize the wound while she dug the arrow head out with either her bare hands or a knife. It depended on how mad my father made her.

"Breathe, lass."

His hand was warm against my skin, trying to ease me to relax. I hadn't realized I'd tensed. Slowly, I relaxed and that's when Mercer, for both Brynjolf's hands were on me, poured the drink onto the wound. I couldn't help it, screaming bloody murder as soon as I felt the burn. Steel or iron dug into my flesh as Brynjolf dug the arrow head out.

"Divines above, Mercer. Haven't we got any potions on stock." I heard Brynjolf grunt.

"No," Mercer replied. "She'll pass out soon enough."

And I did, the last thing I heard was Brynjolf's triumphant crow as he produced the arrow head.

* * *

"Awaken, girl."

The voice urged me awake, the command behind it all too familiar. With great reluctance, I opened my eyes, surrounded by sinister shadows at every turn. The aura of this place was all too familiar. Oblivion. I rose, glancing around, looking for the savagery to be confronted with only darkness.

"Where am I?" I demanded.

This was not the Oblivion I knew. No, this much worse. There was nothing and that was far scarier.

"Do not be afraid. For you are my champion, not my prisoner."

The shadows parted, revealing a woman I had only seen set in stone. Nocturnal.

"Nocturnal," I breathed, tone hostile.

She remained expressionless, staring down at me.

"What do you want?"  
My attitude seemed to roll over her like waves over a rock, not bothering the rock a bit.

"I have need of you," she said.

"Need all you want," I snapped. "I won't help."

My declaration was met with a mere rising of her eyebrow. It did not occur to me until then that she could easily keep me locked within the darkness until I agreed to help her.

"Then perhaps a trade," she mused, more to herself than to me.

A smile graced her lips, one that frightened even me.

"I offer you my protection from Molag Bal," she declared.

My eyes widened, a faint hope rising in me before I crushed it. Mother always said if something sounded too good to be true, it usually was.

"What good is your word, your protection?" I spat. "Against Molag Bal. I know how the Daedra work."

"Indeed," Nocturnal said, voice empty of all emotion. "I am aware of your mother's… unique gift. A gift you share."

I was glaring at her fully, letting all my hatred for her kind pour in.

"Become my servant, within that world," she bargained. "And more Daedra will look to you. And then, the Divine will as well. There is no greater than them, than Akatosh who rules them. They should offer much better protection than I."

Her smile sent shivers through me and I wished only to tear it from her face.

"You have already merited a reward to show my favor. I am rather fond of Vex and her unique way of breaking and entering."

"I want nothing from you," I snapped.

"But you do. Deep in your heart, yes, you still posses one though you try and hide it. I can give you what you most desire," she bargained. "The one familial bond you will have in this world."

My eyes widened as I realized what she meant.

"Impossible," I declared. "I saw him die. Saw them cast him into the sun. And even if he survived, all these years, he will still be a vampire."

"But there is a cure, a long forgotten cure," Nocturnal went on.

I could hear the smile in her voice, the triumphant edge. She believed she'd already won.

"I want proof," I declared. "Before I make any commitments. Do not tell me the cure but tell me where to find him."

Nocturnal fell silent.

"Such a cynical girl," she remarked. "But very well. I will tell you."

* * *

Gasping, I awoke, the aches of my body alarming me until my memories returned. I sat up, flinching, but looking around. I was in the Cistern, tucked away in one of the beds. The few thieves still loitering glanced my way and then diverted their attention. I had no time for them, instead reaching up with trembling fingers to touch my sore shoulder. The one that the arrow head had been pried from. Instead of bandages, my fingers found the coarse material of a dress, one I had not been wearing when I came in. In shock, I threw the blankets off, looking at the deep blue material in surprise.

"Awake lass?"

My head went up, locking eyes with Brynjolf. He towered over me, his arms crossed over his broad chest.

"I'm surprised you helped me at all," I remarked. "After I killed your partner."

My voice was low, though it didn't matter. We were the only two close enough for my words to reach.

"Aye, lass, I wondered what silenced my tongue when I meant to oust you," he admitted. "Perhaps my amazement over your survival. That was a death wound if ever I saw it."

I smirked.

"We assassins aren't very good thieves. We cut down our contacts rather than let them live. The same is often true of our comrades."

"And yet, you dragged Vex back here rather than sacrifice her to save your skin," Brynjolf mused, acting as though he was speaking more to himself than to me.

I saw through his ruse but said nothing. I hadn't understood the compulsion to save her. Nocturnal perhaps? No. As much as I damned her and her kind, the compulsion was my own. No one had sought to protect me. Save me, yes, from myself of course, of the legacy of my family. But never protection. That was what Vex had done and in return, I had saved her.

"She's awake, you know," Brynjolf said. "Askin' about you too. Whatever bond you to have only got stronger, lass."

I shrugged at his words, flinching a bit. Perhaps Lilith would heal me. What was I thinking? Lilith was the last person I wanted to see. Vex was a different story.

"She's askin' for you, lass," Brynjolf continued.

"Then take me to her," I ordered.

Without another word, Brynjolf gently caught my wrist, looping his other arm around my waist and lifting me up. I'd underestimated my earlier aches as the worst of my pain and I released a few very colorful words that would have made my father proud, my uncle laugh and my mother red with shame. All were said as I turned, using Brynjolf's shoulder to hide my cringing face. Something was wrong with my leg. A sprain, most likely. I'd had to jump out the window of an upper floor, since our entrance had been blocked. I had thought I knew how to fall. Apparently, I was wrong.

"Quite a mouth on you, lass," Brynjolf remarked, amused.

"You haven't heard anything yet," I retorted.

Despite the pain, I limped along with him, leaning on him more than I would have liked.

"The dress," I began.

"Modest one, aren't you?" Brynjolf asked.

He smiled.

"Mercer had Sapphire change ya. Said it wouldn't help to keep you in bloodied armor," he explained.

I eyed him suspiciously, feeling that he wouldn't have hesitated to change me if he could. His smile grew as if he sensed my thoughts, though he focused more on opening the door ahead of us than denying my unspoken accusations. Once the door was closed behind us, he paused, turning to face me full on.

"Lass, you saved Vex, Had you left her there, she would have died, that is for sure. For that, I owe you, we owe you, a great deal."

My mind flashed back to Vex, defending me from that war axe, saving my life rather than saving her own. I shook my head, the first wave of emotions I didn't want to feel anymore washing over me. I wasn't humble or modest but sometimes, emotions of their sort would rise up within me, as if something as filthy and rotten as I had need of them.

"You don't owe me anything," I declared. "If anything, I owe you. Vex saved me first. That's why she is wounded. My wounds are nothing compared to what she has given me."

* * *

Vex had fallen back to sleep while Brynjolf had fetched me. I sat next to her, watching her sleep, far too exhausted to hobble my way back to the bed I had formerly occupied. My leg still ached but that pain did not, or could not, distract me from my thoughts. He was alive. I could remember his face, bright as day, more Nord than I who had mostly taken our mother's looks while he got father's. It was for the best, he had said, calling father an ugly beast and then laughing when father had chased him. Dyre, the heart of my family. He never could kill, not as easily as me. He was my elder by two years but, to save time, father had taken us both out on our first contract. On the trip there, we had laughed, talking endlessly of which of us would be the Listener, while Dyre teased me, proclaiming that he'd someday marry Kaya, just to make me jealous. He thought I objected to their marriage because she was my friend. In truth, it had been my brother I hadn't wanted to share. But I lost that brother on the ride home and I hadn't known why. My job had required me to sacrifice the one thing I could never obtain again. My purity. And my brother had somehow sensed that, remaining deathly quiet until that night, in the sanctuary, when he had embraced me for the first and only time before he left, only to surface four years later a vampire, trying to steal me away, to free me from the life of a Dark Brotherhood assassin. My father had taught him the era of his ways. Caught up in my own thoughts, I didn't hear the approach of Mercer behind me, jumping when his hand landed on my bare shoulder.

"How's Vex?" he inquired.

I shrugged then flinched.

"She hasn't woke up yet," I replied. "Though Brynjolf claims she did."

Mercer nodded before lowering a sleek red bottle into my hand. I looked at him, curiously.

"Healing potion," he explained. "Should help that leg."

I nodded my thanks and he left. Instead of drinking the potion myself, I uncapped it and poured the liquid into Vex's parted mouth. I may not be humble but a little suffering was good for the body every now and then.


End file.
